October Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month

We had an early miscarriage. We miscarried our baby. We didn't even know we were pregnant honestly. My cycle was a hot mess. We found out we miscarried. I was stunned we were even pregnant, how did I not know? It was hard finding out we conceived a baby, carried a baby for so many weeks, and lost the baby all at the same time.

Our September 2017 miscarriage was such a shock and I decided I didn't want to talk about it for quite a while. When I felt emotionally processed enough I was willing to acknowledge it happened in passing but didn't really dwell on it.

Friends and family were sharing their baby announcements and I was just hurt. I had so many emotions of sadness, frustration, anger, hopelessness, etc. I wanted to be so happy for them and to a degree I was yes but part of me had envy of them and frustration that they could talk like it is so easy.

I felt like people talk about having a baby like it is nothing, and I see young girls accidentally get pregnant all the time and here I was struggling. We don't talk about the struggle as much and I think sometimes that makes it harder for others! 1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage! But we definitely don't hear about it that often.

We were shocked to learn of our conception of Patrick and so blessed with his birth in September 2018. It was a year of trying to conceive, a year of others asking when we would have children and us just saying whenever it happens it happens but behind closed doors taking every ovulation test, tracking, and temperature checks.

It was so much work we finally gave up as we realized it was putting an emotional strain and very stressful barrier between us. We decided no testing in December. No trying. Just finding our connection again as a couple outside of this empty baby feeling.

Acceptance that God was watching over us, hearing my prayers every night and we had to leave it to him. That month we conceived! God pulled us back to each other and trusting him and away from all of the "work" and gave us our most amazing baby boy!

And now we are so very blessed with another baby boy due next year! People have already pushed about us trying for a girl and the answer is no. God gave us 2 beautiful blessings these couple years. We are going to celebrate them and continue to grow our family in love, faith, and many other blessings...not size. 🥰

October is pregnancy loss awareness month! As I said 1 in 4 women experience miscarriage. So before you push those I want a grandbaby, where's my granddaughter, hurry up I'm getting old, etc. type of statements remember even if they are your child they may not share the struggle with you. So don't push.