Breastfeeding: The Dip & Fight

I read the other day that many critique the plans of labor and delivery of a new mom but don’t say anything, as they know better, about how to care for a baby. I won’t say this is completely wrong but it definitely isn’t my experience. Yes, I was definitely told repeatedly that my natural non-medicated labor was crazy and “seriously you are choosing that?!” However, it didn’t stop there for me. Once you start your breastfeeding journey it is like an entirely new round of questions, suggestions, and looks of bewilderment.

Before I had our son I was quite afraid of breastfeeding. So many told me about how painful it was. My brain just didn’t find it necessary, “we can use formula and I won’t have to do it all myself,” said my brain. However, I was then repeatedly told about the benefits of breastfeeding at least to begin with if at all possible. So I of course did some research and agreed, so I decided I would breastfeed the first 2 weeks postpartum but then I was definitely done, because Ouch! Once I had caved to 2 weeks I started receiving comments about how that just wasn’t long enough for baby and I honestly was sick of hearing it so I decided 2-3 months really wasn’t that long, I will see if I can hit that goal but if I don’t it’s fine.

Now Fast forward now to finally having our son! (Yep all of this was talk BEFORE I started) I discover I am actually really good at breastfeeding, especially after those rough first 2.5 weeks, and so is my son! I start hauling in the milk! By 2 months of pumping (3 months of his life) I have now built up 1200oz of breastmilk outside of him eating daily. Well I shared this excitement which led to a lot of people suggesting I think about breastfeeding him for 12 months. I have been enjoying feeding him and so I happily said YES! That is a great goal! Then came the first dip this past week. It is quite possible that dip came from him being sick and due to him feeding on demand eating every 20 minutes instead of 2 hours but I became concerned. I was so anxious that when I pumped I was lucky to get an ounce and that when he ate my haakaa (silicone pump attached to catch let down) was almost always empty on the other side. What if I am running out of milk?! Am I going dry already? I panicked.

This was when i had the first big breastfeeding realization. So many had insisted on what I needed to do and what was best for my son that I started setting these very intense goals. Goals that were inherently good but also caused me to get even more disheartened when I starting noticing the dip that I was experiencing. I talked to many and researched and found out that the dip was normal and most women just fought it like crazy to continue. I have already been doing my lactation cookies and all the other key breastfeeding things I could find that was permitted while donating milk (see Breastfeeding: Keeping Your Supply Up! blog).

I decided then that I would set a new goal. This goal would pull me away from the monthly goals that so many seem to be stuck on and focus instead on my son. My new goal became to enjoy the time I have breastfeeding my son, as I love this bond, and accept that whenever we no longer breastfeed it was just meant to be that way.

So if you have a child and are formula feeding, directly breastfeeding, using a bottle, or a mix of any of these remember no one way is superior to the other, the goal is to have a happy fed baby by whatever means necessary! Also remember when you see another mom choosing to do something different than you, you don't know why she did but in the end it was her choice with her baby, don't judge her for it. Fed is truly best!