MIL: An Exposé

An exposé on the mother of my husband. The woman who has been such an important person in our lives!

I wrote about how my MIL hurt me. I don't retract that as yes I feel my self-confidence as a mother has been broken. She is the easy one to point out. However, the reason I shattered so easily was because of my history. Because when I became a mom I was already so nervous and scared that I wouldn't be good enough that even small things she said or did cut into me as well as other people. I tried to let what other people said go but didn't do that with her as she means so much to me and I cherish what she thinks of me as well.

So we will work through everything at some point I know that because when I think of her I truly do love her as my mom!

The expose of this post is our relationship! She has been in my life for 8 years. It's only natural to have a rough patch right!?

So now that I've shared the rough parts let's share the joy she has given me!!

1. She gave birth to my husband. She raised the kindest, sweetest, most caring man I've ever known. I will always be thankful that she taught him to be such a gentleman, respect others including women, and when he fell in love with someone to honor and cherish them!! He is my world and though of course he is his own person we are still a product of our environments at times!

2. When I met her and her family she embraced me! A fairly broken girl trying to figure out life in what felt like a completely broken world. She showed me what a whole family was like. She opened up her home and space to let me be loved by them all.

3. She shared her father with me! Dziadzio became my grandfather as well. He taught me so much and when he passed it hurt me so bad even though I knew him the least of anyone there. She understood. She shared his memory with me. Allowed me to adore him as she did!

4. Her and her family took me in and showed me the world! A world I never knew I would possibly see!! I will always love the time we have shared on trips making memories together!

5. She supported me! Through my undergraduate school they were there. Constantly cheering me on as their own as well. I was selected as the commencement speaker and she calmed my nerves, went through my speech with me, and they were all there watching as I graduated! I did the same for my Master's degree and again they were there!!

5. She has also shown what a great marriage is like. Her husband and her have been together for MANY, MANY, MANY (see what I did there. ;) ) years! They definitely have been a learning curve for me at times. Learning to create and maintain boundaries. But they love and respect each other. They adore their kids. Their hearts bleed for the community and that is something that's always been important to me as well!

6. My wedding day was so stressful with some people and there were some sad moments but a joyful one I still love looking back on....having her there lacing up my dress supporting me in marrying her most amazing son!

Okay so now hormonal me is sitting here crying (I probably would be either way though). This woman has given so much to me and though yes we had a big struggle when my son, her first grandchild, was born, she still is my mom. She is still one of the most important women in my life. This is what leads to forgiveness...wholeness...family!

Some people shared that they didn't like her or they had crappy MILs too. Lord that's not what I was doing in that previous post. We had a crappy situation. Frustration not properly communicated. And hurt emotions that needed mended! I'm sorry some of you have crappy MILs and am always open to hearing your stories and even stories of growth like ours as I LOVE my MIL and don't want a life without her!

I want....

My MIL in our son's lives. My life. Spoiling her grandkids. Birthdays, holidays, soccer games, you name it I want her there! I want her to love them and me. I want to just hug her and claim her as mine all over again! She is my family!