Pregnancy #1 Week 5

So we are having a baby!

I am so excited to be writing about the fact that Tomek and I are having a baby, even though it is only January and we won't be telling people for quite a while so you will be reading this a bit later.

Before I get into the pregnancy part let's talk about trying to make a baby! Many people hide this part of the yay your expecting process. Some even say that they weren't even trying to conceive, when in reality they had been trying for a while. Tomek and I had been trying to conceive for 4 months, and it being that short of a time is great, but I still worried about my ability to conceive during those months. Each month consisted of excitement, anticipation, and even intense sadness at times. We tried different things to get pregnant and I was really worked up when my doctor told me that since we had been together so long we could technically say that we had been "trying" for at least 2 years. Looking back I know that isn't accurate as we were doing what we needed to in order to not conceive. But the idea of two years really got stuck in my head and she even sent my husband to get testing to make sure everything was okay (which it was) which caused me to become more depressed about my ability to. So after trying different things we were finally able to conceive, though I would say a big factor was me deciding to keep trying but that I needed to get out of the house and do something else. Before moving on to my pregnancy I just want to say that if you are worried about your ability to conceive, about whether you are doing the right things, or any other fertility related question please go to your gynecologist or even an ob/gyn to answer your questions and help guide you. Despite my doctor worrying me a bit about the 2 years notion, she has been a God-send to me! Her recommendations are what helped us in the end to actually conceive so definitely talk to yours and listen to their suggestions, even if it is different from what you planned.

Now on to our pregnancy! I am so excited!!! I honestly have always wanted to be a mom. I am 25 and definitely went out of my way to wait and put education, stable job, and financial stability first which I don't regret at all. I am so happy to bring this child into a stable environment where we are truly ready for him/her. Despite waiting I have wanted to be a mom since I was young. I remember saying when I was young I wanted to be a mom and many told me I would definitely be a great mom. In all my friend groups past and even present (including my hubby's friends) I am the mom of the group. I don't really know how that came about but it is just in my demeanor I guess.

It was so surreal on the 4th when I was pretty sure I was pregnant but I waited until the 8th to be sure. When Tomek left for work I quickly jumped out of bed, pee'd in a cup (yes I am not a lady capable of peeing directly on the stick heehee), and used the test. I was so impatient but knew it wouldn't say right away so I looked away, opened a game on my phone, and I couldn't take it I peeked back and was shocked, it was already there....PREGNANT!! No way?! I pulled out another test and tried again, immediately PREGNANT! YES!!! The sheer joy and excitement was insurmountable. I was so thankful Tomek was already gone to work because I wanted to tell him in a special way and if he was there I would have definitely ruined it because I was so SOO excited! I was so full of excitement but there was no one I could tell. I wanted to call my est friends, our family, etc. but I also 1) wanted to tell Tomek first!! and 2) I knew it was early and just felt as though it was way to an emotional toll to tell people this early, not knowing how everything would turn out.

So while Tomek was at work I hurried to the store. I found a onesie that said "protected by Batman" and it was perfect to add to my surprise box for Tomek. I texted Tomek and told him I was excited that one of his Christmas presents just arrived, that I forgot about and had ordered on December 15th (estimated DoC). He had no clue! I found wrapping paper that was batman themed and I went home. I put together a box where I printed the batman logo with the word batman on it and put on the outside, inside I typed the words "Just Became" and taped it to the inside side of the box, and laying on top was a batman picture that said BatDad, so all together "Batman just became...BatDad!" The anticipation nearly killed me waiting for him to get home to unwrap this gift, but when he got home I laid on the couch like I always do holding my phone like I was playing a game. I told him his present was on the end of the couch, all nonchalantly. He walked over and started to open the package while I was actually recording him on my phone! I am so happy that I was able to do this without him knowing because the look on his face and pure excitement was something I could never truly explain in words. We are both so happy and I just can't wait to meet our little bundle of joy!!

Now that I have shared all of our excitement I will share my main concern that hit me the next day. From 12/29 to 1/3 We were unaware that we were pregnant and I had been taking dayquil twice a day and nyquil each night because I was sick. We didn't think we possibly conceived in December because my tracker was off. When I knew we were pregnant I was upset with myself. I had been so careful to not drink at all, I never have smoked, and watch my medicines that I looked up the medicine to find out if it was considered safe....it is NOT. I panicked. They actually sounded dangerous to the developing fetus and so I immediately called my ob/gyn office and actually scheduled my first appointment (8 weeks). I spoke with the NP whom told me I need to focus on what I can do now and not what has already been done, she told me to de-stress as that would just make it worse, and that she was proud of me as most who don't know they are pregnant end up drinking even though they had been trying. So not that I got the answer I was hoping for "No don't worry you are fine" it was semi-reassuring.

More pregnancy/baby blogs to come...the whole truth and nothing but, even things you may not want to hear (you can skip over those if you want but they will be real for my experience!)